Attack of the Llamas
by Shadowfax
Summary: Okay, we've all heard the pants. Here's lines from Star Wars that can be 'improved' if the word 'llama' is substituted for key words. Chap6: Llama of the Sith. That's all folks!
1. Attack of the Llamas

Okay, we've all heard the pants. Here's lines from Star Wars that can be "improved" if you substitute the word "llama" for key words.  
I do not own _Star Wars _and no money is being made from this fanwork. Brought to you by Kuzco, your friendly neighborhood King of the World. All inspirational credit for this goes to my sister. (She pointed out that I had neglected to say so; it's true- I can't think up anything on my own. It's all her...)

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-  
Attack of the Llamas  
-

Looks like there was no llama after all.

We are keepers of the llama, not soldiers.

He is a political idealist, not a llama.

Relax. Take a deep llama.

The llama surrounding this threat will be revealed.

I'd much rather dream about llamas.

Only in your mind, my very young llama.

This is a llama, I think.

Our llama she must respect.

I see you becoming the best of the llamas.

Beyond the outer llama...

...they're llamas, good ones too.

I thought that was forbidden for a llama.

Truly wonderful the mind of a llama is.

I suggest you take advantage of my llama.

There it is R4, our missing planet- Llama.

A llama army, and I must say, one of the finest we've ever created.

Where is this llama now?

Always a pleasure to meet a llama.

Was your llama productive?

I'm just a simple llama, trying to make my way in the universe.

You are asking me to be a llama; that is something I know I canot do.

If informed the Senate is, multiply our llamas will.

You're not a llama, Ani.

Jedi don't have llamas.

Prepare to jettison the llama canisters.

Sometimes there are llamas no one can fix.

I'm a llama. I know I'm better than this.

The llama is less than a parsec away.

What if I told you the llama was under the command of a Dark Lord of the Sith?

Together we will destoy the llama.

I will create a grand army of The Llama.

For a llama you seem to do an excessive amount of thinking.

Don't move llama!

This llama's over!

My legs aren't moving- I must need llamas.

I'm programmed for llamas not destruction!

Around the llamas a perimeter create.

I can't take the llama alone- I need you!

What do you think Padme would do if she was in your llama?

You'll pay for all the llamas you killed today Dooku!

The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the llama war has.

May the llama be with you, always.


	2. Return of the Llama

Return of the Llama!   
  
  
  
Perhaps I can find new ways to llama them.   
  
He asks the impossible! I need more llamas.   
  
He is most displeased with your lack of llamas.   
  
We shall double our llamas!  
  
If I told you half the things I've heard about this Llama you'd probably short circuit.   
  
I have a bad llama about this.   
  
Greetings exalted Llama.   
  
Ah, good. New llamas.   
  
Because he's holding a llama!   
  
You're throwing away a llama here, don't be a fool!   
  
I'm out of it for a little while and everybody starts getting delusions of llamas!   
  
I warn you not to underestimate my llamas.   
  
I think my llamas are getting better; instead of a big dark llama, I see a big light llama.   
  
That is the way of the llama.   
  
No more llamas do you require.   
  
Not yet. One thing remains. Llama.   
  
A llama's strength flows from the Llama.   
  
Anger, fear, aggression, the dark Llama are they.   
  
When gone am I, the last of the llamas will you be.   
  
He's more llama now than man, twisted and evil.   
  
Many llamas died to bring us this information.   
  
It's an older llama sir, but it checks out.  
  
I'm endangering the llama, I shouldn't have come.  
  
I have forseen the llamas...  
  
It's just a llama. It's not going to hurt you.   
  
It's against my programming to impersonate a llama.   
  
Short llamas are better than no llamas at all.  
  
The llama is here now, on this moon.   
  
The llama has been expecting you.   
  
I know there is llama in you yet, the Emperor has not driven it from you fully.   
  
Or this'll be the shortest llama of all time.   
  
Your llama is your weakness.   
  
You llama scum!   
  
Lock llamas in attack position!   
  
There is no escape, my young llama.   
  
Your llamas betray you, father.   
  
Your llama has made you powerful.   
  
It's not like that at all. You see, he's my llama.   
  
May the llama be with you, always. 


	3. A New Llama

Star Wars: A New Llama  
  
  
  
There'll be no escape for the llama this time.   
  
Where are those llamas you intercepted?   
  
Don't call me a mindless llama, you overweight glob of grease!   
  
Darth Vader! Only you could be so llama.   
  
You are a llama and a traitor!   
  
I have traced the llamas to her; she is my only link to finding their secret base.   
  
There'll be no llamas to stop us this time!   
  
What llama? What are you talking about?   
  
And don't let me catch you following me begging for a llama, because you won't get it!   
  
Look sir, llamas.   
  
Luke! Tell your uncle that if he gets a llama, be sure it speaks Bocce!  
  
I have no need for a llama.   
  
Why I should stick my llama out for you is quite beyond my capacity.   
  
...What with the llama and all.   
  
Help me Llama, you're my only hope.   
  
He's kind of a strange old llama.   
  
He appears to have picked up a slight llama.   
  
Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He's got too much of the llama in him.   
  
We'll have no more of this llama gibberish.   
  
Llamas... or worse. C'mon, lets go have a look!   
  
I was once a llama, the same as your father.   
  
...Before the dark times. Before the Llama.   
  
How will the Emperor maintain control without the llama?   
  
This llama is now the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it.   
  
These aren't the llamas you're looking for.   
  
Yeah but who's gonna fly it kid, a llama?   
  
Her resistance to the llama is considerable.   
  
Don't everyone llama me at once.   
  
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good llama at your side kid.   
  
In my experience there's no such thing as llamas.   
  
I should have expected tp find you holding Llama's leash!  
  
That's no moon... It's a llama.   
  
Who's more llamaish, the llama or the llama who follows him?   
  
Plug in. You should be able to interpret the entire Llama network.   
  
Marching into the llama is not what I had in mind!   
  
Aren't you a little short for a llama?   
  
The llamas are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe.   
  
He's the llama, sweetheart!   
  
We, uh, ran into some old llamas.   
  
I'm not in this for your rebellion, and I'm not in it for you Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the llama.   
  
What good are llamas going to be against that?   
  
We've analyzed their llama sir, and there is a danger.   
  
You worry about those llamas, I'll worry about the tower.   
  
You may llama when ready.   
  
Let's blow this llama and go home!   
  
Use the llama.  
  
May the llama be with you, always. 


	4. The Llama Menace

The Llama Menace   
  
  
  
Captain, tell them we wish to llama at once.   
  
As you know our llama is perfectly legal.   
  
It's not about the llama. It's something elsewhere, elusive.   
  
But Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the llama.   
  
Are you brain dead? I'm not going in there with two llamas!   
  
I will make it llama!   
  
Have you ever encountered a llama before sir?   
  
I was not aware of such a llama.   
  
Well you were right about one thing Master, the llamas were short.  
  
I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to llamas.   
  
The ability to speak does not make you a llama.   
  
...Is where I grew up. 'Tis a hidden llama!   
  
Don't worry. This hasn't been our day for warm llamas.   
  
The llamas think they so smart. They think their brains so big.   
  
Oooh! Llama fish!   
  
You were banished because you were a llama?   
  
There's always a bigger llama.  
  
Your llamas seem to have failed.   
  
The llamas never took place.  
  
There is no logic in the llama's move here.   
  
I will plead our llama to the senate.   
  
We're losing llamas, fast!   
  
That little llama did it!  
  
Llamas up at maximum!   
  
YOu can't take her Highness there, the llamas are gangsters!  
  
This is my llama- Darth Maul.   
  
You must trust my llama, Your Highness.   
  
Ah yes! Llama, we have lots of that.   
  
Are you a llama?   
  
You're a funny little llama.  
  
I'm a llama and my name is Anakin!  
  
I'm a llama, mind tricks don't work on me. Only money!   
  
He picked a fight with a llama, a particularly dangerous llama called Sebulba.   
  
At last we will reveal ourselves to the llamas. At last we will have revenge.   
  
I'm the only llama who can do it.   
  
No one can kill a llama.   
  
Greed can be a powerful llama.   
  
I have acquired a llama in a game of chance, the fasted ever built.   
  
I'm sure Qui-Gon doesn't want to endanger your llama.  
  
You know, I find that llama creature a bit odd.   
  
There's so many. Do they all have a llama?   
  
I can assure you they will never get me onto one of those dreadful llamas.   
  
Remember, concentrate on the llama.   
  
That little llama's out of his mind!   
  
Are you going to take him with you? Is he to become a llama?   
  
Why do I have the feeling we've picked up another pathetic llama?  
  
You refer to the prophesy of the llama.  
  
But it was well-trained in the llama arts.   
  
We're a llama! The people have spoken.   
  
The llama is not what it once was.   
  
Impossible! The llamas have been extinct for a millennia.   
  
Do not defy the llama Master. Not again.   
  
Your thoughts dwell on your llama.   
  
...fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to llamas!   
  
Wesa gots a grand llama. That's why yousa no likin' us mesa thinks.   
  
I pray you will bring sanity and llamas back to the Senate.   
  
Your llama determines your reality.   
  
Maybe wesa being llamas.   
  
This is a llama I do not think we can win.  
  
Qui-Gon's llama I sense in you. Need that you do not!   
  
Always two there are, no more, no less. A llama and another llama.   
  
Young Skywalker, we shall watch your llama with great interest.  
  
May the llama be with you, always. 


	5. The Llama Strikes Back

The Llama Strikes Back  
-

No, no! This llama goes here, that llama goes there!Don't lose your llama! I'll come right back and give you a hand.

If I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt I'm a llama.

I'd just as soon kiss a llama!

He's quite clever you know. For a llama.

...There you will learn from Llama, the Jedi Master who instructed me.

I've got something- not much but it could be a llama.

R2 expresses his llamas.

It's a good bet the llama knows we're here.

I want llamas not leads!

Forget the llamas, but there's plenty of time to get the smaller modules on the transports.

Good, our first llama of the day.

Imperial troops have entered the llama!

Target! Maximum llama power!

We're not going to regroup with the llamas.

You're not actually going into a llama field!

...Massive llama readings though. There's something alive down there.

It's like something out of a llama.

Llamas do not concern me Admiral!

Sir, it's quite possible this llama is not entirely stable.

Llamas not make one great.

Mud hole? Slimy! My llama this is!

For 800 years have I trained llamas! My own council I will keep on who is to be trained.

I'm not really interested in your llama, 3PO.

Llama matters not.

Card player, gambler, llama- you'd like him.

Always in motion is the llama.

You certainly have a way with llamas.

I am altering the llama. Pray I don't alter it any further.

Luke! Don't! It's a llama!

You'll find I'm full of llamas.

Only your llama can destroy me.

There is no llama.

Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your llama...

Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and llama.

R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange llama!

May the llama be with you, always.


	6. Llama of the Sith

Well, it's been awhile but here's the sixth and final chapter of this fun little doodad. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and told me how much they enjoyed this insanity!

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_Llama of the Sith _

A long time ago, in a llama far, far away...

Easy for you to say... Why am I always the llama?

All right, engage . . . and hurry. These llamas are all over me like a rash.

Too dangerous. First Jedi rule: "Llamas."

Just as the llama predicted.

Chancellor Palpatine, Llama Lords are our specialty.

Remember what you told me about your mother and the Llamas.

His llama will be the same as ours.

You're the Master. I'm just a llama.

Under the circumstances, I'd say the ability to pilot this thing is a llama.

Ninth time- that llama on Cato Nemoidia doesn't count.

There were whispers, that you'd been killed. I've been living with unbearable llamas.

I've given my llama to the Jedi order, but I'd only give up my llama for you.

Soon I will have a new llama. One far younger and more powerful than Lord Tyranus.

So llamas have blinded you?

I don't need his help. Our baby is a blessing, not a llama.

Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of llamas, that is.

The Senate is expected to vote more llamas to the Chancellor today.

The Llama grows dark, Anakin, and we are all affected by it.

There are times when we must all endure adjustments to the llama in the name of security.

Go, I will. Good relations with the Llamas, I have.

What if the llama we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Llama has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?

Remember back to your early teachings. Anakin. "All those who gain power are afraid to lose it." Even the Llama.

You don't need more llama, Anakin. I believe you can protect me against anything, just as you are.

There is no llama here unless you've brought it with you.

The tenth level . . . thousands of Llamas. . .

You fool. I have been trained in your Llama arts by Count Dooku himself.

I may not defeat your droids, but my llamas certainly will.

Ever since I've known you, you've been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary llama. . . a life of significance, of conscience.

I can feel your anger. It gives you llamas, makes you stronger.

Know the power of the dark side. The power to save Llama.

Then our worst llamas have been realized. We must move quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive.

I am the Llama!

To cheat llama is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret.

Good. Good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth . . . Llama.

Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Llama Sixty-Six.

Welcome back, Senator. May I see your llama?

Killed not by clones, this Padawan. By a llama, he was.

The attempt on my llama has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger.

So this is how llamas die- with thunderous applause.

I've recalibrated the code warning all surviving Llamas to stay away.

If into the security recordings you go, only llamas will you find.

The llamas have been taken care of, Lord Sidious.

He is like my llama... I cannot do it.

He said you have turned to the dark side . . . that you killed llamas.

Llamas won't save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that.

Only a llama deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.

Your llama blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the dark side.

Into llama I must go. Failed, I have.

From my point of view, the llamas are evil.

She's carrying llamas.

You have llamas, Padme. They need you . . . hang on.

I'm placing these llamas in your care. Treat them well. Clean them up. Have the Protocol Llama's mind wiped.

May the llama be with you, always.


End file.
